I have accepted the place on the MA Ensemble Theatre course at RBC starting in October.
Now after the fiasco last year (my reaction to which got picked up on by the college online account monitoring people), I am not in as strong a financial position as I was last year, so am having to plan out with much more care how I am going to pay for it.
I know how much it will cost me, and am attempting to persuade various family members to help me with it. This is not ideal, as I would rather not be in debt to the bank (loan), the government (undergraduate tuition fees) and every member of my family all at the same time. I think that the expense is worth it, otherwise I would not be putting myself or them through the effort of trying to work out how it will be paid for. This just means that the next few months will involve a lot of saving, scrimping, and avoiding any unnecessary expense more than I already do. I am pretty sure that it will not be a huge amount of fun, but the pay-off will be worth it.
One other thing I did discover today is that a person I went to school with, though they were in the year below me we did work together on at least one school play, is auditioning for a place on the same course. It would be quite strange if we both ended up doing the same MA (and she would be to my knowledge the 3rd person to go from Oakham to Bruford.
So that is the situation currently, and, as usual, it is all about the money.
Showing posts with label Future. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Future. Show all posts
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
Friday, 18 March 2011
Need a plan, and a whole pile of money
So, here it is:
I need to make up my mind by the end of March whether or not I am going to do the MA that I was originally planning on doing this year. There is no use going back over that whole debacle, but it does mean that I am in a bit of a bind this time round.
The main problem is this:
I don't currently have the money to pay for it, let alone being able to afford another year of being a full time student.
I feel confident that I can actually do the course, and that it will be a good thing for me to do, as well as something which will be interesting, entertaining and a challenge. If money was not an issue, I would be able to take my place with confidence of doing well. But unfortunately, money is an issue.
I am currently paying £450 a month in rent, plus around £100 more in various bills - gas, electric, phone etc. On top of that, I have to pay out another £250 a month in loan repayments for the loan I took out to pay for the MA before that all went sideways. Then there will also be travel costs and stuff like that to get to college and back again. Overall, I have roughly budgeted that I will need about £1,000 a month to be able to pay for everything. The course is 13 months full time, so even if there will be some fluctuation on how heavy the workload is, and I am able to find a decent part-time job on top of High Society and CCM (both of which can be busy, can be dead), then I will need £12,000 over the duration of the course to pay for stuff.
Of course, on top of this there is the cost of the actual MA itself, which is, at the moment £8,400. That means an estimated overall cost of the year of £20,000 - which is a hell of a lot of money that I certainly don't have.
Before I make the final decision, I am going to go and talk to Richard, who was the one that got me into the idea of doing the MA, and all of this stuff will be explained to him. In an ideal world, college would be willing to give me a bursary or some form of financial assistance to make it easier, especially since I am a graduate of RBC, got a 1st on my BA, and since they offered me a place, then didn't tell me what was going on until after I had made financial commitments to pay for it back in September. I am not expecting anything, especially given recent public statements from Michael.
So I need to be able to find this money from somewhere. I am not sure where, but somewhere. If anyone who reads this has any ideas, feel free to drop them in the comments section.
The next 18 months of my life will be defined by a decision I need to make within the next couple of weeks, so I need to start figuring things out.
I need to make up my mind by the end of March whether or not I am going to do the MA that I was originally planning on doing this year. There is no use going back over that whole debacle, but it does mean that I am in a bit of a bind this time round.
The main problem is this:
I don't currently have the money to pay for it, let alone being able to afford another year of being a full time student.
I feel confident that I can actually do the course, and that it will be a good thing for me to do, as well as something which will be interesting, entertaining and a challenge. If money was not an issue, I would be able to take my place with confidence of doing well. But unfortunately, money is an issue.
I am currently paying £450 a month in rent, plus around £100 more in various bills - gas, electric, phone etc. On top of that, I have to pay out another £250 a month in loan repayments for the loan I took out to pay for the MA before that all went sideways. Then there will also be travel costs and stuff like that to get to college and back again. Overall, I have roughly budgeted that I will need about £1,000 a month to be able to pay for everything. The course is 13 months full time, so even if there will be some fluctuation on how heavy the workload is, and I am able to find a decent part-time job on top of High Society and CCM (both of which can be busy, can be dead), then I will need £12,000 over the duration of the course to pay for stuff.
Of course, on top of this there is the cost of the actual MA itself, which is, at the moment £8,400. That means an estimated overall cost of the year of £20,000 - which is a hell of a lot of money that I certainly don't have.
Before I make the final decision, I am going to go and talk to Richard, who was the one that got me into the idea of doing the MA, and all of this stuff will be explained to him. In an ideal world, college would be willing to give me a bursary or some form of financial assistance to make it easier, especially since I am a graduate of RBC, got a 1st on my BA, and since they offered me a place, then didn't tell me what was going on until after I had made financial commitments to pay for it back in September. I am not expecting anything, especially given recent public statements from Michael.
So I need to be able to find this money from somewhere. I am not sure where, but somewhere. If anyone who reads this has any ideas, feel free to drop them in the comments section.
The next 18 months of my life will be defined by a decision I need to make within the next couple of weeks, so I need to start figuring things out.
Sunday, 2 January 2011
New Year Resolutions
Now, really, I am not one for New Years Resolutions - much more being a fan of the "why make a plan at this time of year, its nothing special, just do it" way of thinking. On top of this, resolutions are made by people every year with the knowledge that they will be broken anyway, so who cares.
In any event, I do have certain goals that I want to achieve in the next 12 months. The idea is not to get them done as soon as possible, more to try any achieve them by the end of the year (some of them I do need to justify a bit, but you can skip over that part) . So here goes:
1. Get into proper shape - While I am now in better shape than I was 18 months ago, I still am not a huge fan of how I look. Therefore I am taking it upon myself to try and sort it out. Part of it is aesthetic, part of it is health, part of it is fitness, but the reason doesn't matter, just the result.
2. Become more politically involved - now this one I am not sure entirely the way in which I will achieve it, whether it be writing to my MP more, doing more volunteering, trying to get to the Labour conference, or similar ideas. Any suggestions are welcomed, and I think that especially with what 2011 will hold in terms of what the government are going to try to shove down our throats next, I think that involvement of any kind can help.
3. Don't get arrested or in trouble with police - this may seem odd, but with more protests being bound to happen this year, and with me planning on attending as many of them as I can, I want to not get myself photographed, harassed, harmed or arrested while protesting peacefully (that is one thing, I will never be violent while on protest, though I will defend myself or others while there).
4. Get a proper job - by proper I mean one where I can work out my pay by the week, not through counting the number of hours I have worked. Again, any suggestions or offers will be considered (yes, I am that desperate)
5. Decide about the Masters - this one is rather reliant on number 4, but I do need to make my mind up, and while the financial pressure is the main stumbling block, decisions will need to be made, eventually.
6. Be more social - I need to get out the house more, I need to meet new people, and see more of the people I already know, some of whom I actually really enjoy spending time with. For most of 2010 my social life was crap, and not just due to my general lack of social skills. I think that, even though money will be tight this year, I need to make a greater effort to see people I like, and make a greater effort to get them to want to see me too. How to do that, I have no idea, but I have 12 months to get it sorted.
7 Read more - If anyone feels like posting me some interesting books then get in touch, but overall I think that I need to read more. I might even see if there is a library somewhere near me (under the assumption that it hasnt been closed down before I get there).
Now there are a few others, but they really aren't all that interesting to read (which, looking at that list, must make them pretty dull), but in any case, if you have any ideas or thoughts about how to achieve these things, just yell at me.
In any event, I do have certain goals that I want to achieve in the next 12 months. The idea is not to get them done as soon as possible, more to try any achieve them by the end of the year (some of them I do need to justify a bit, but you can skip over that part) . So here goes:
1. Get into proper shape - While I am now in better shape than I was 18 months ago, I still am not a huge fan of how I look. Therefore I am taking it upon myself to try and sort it out. Part of it is aesthetic, part of it is health, part of it is fitness, but the reason doesn't matter, just the result.
2. Become more politically involved - now this one I am not sure entirely the way in which I will achieve it, whether it be writing to my MP more, doing more volunteering, trying to get to the Labour conference, or similar ideas. Any suggestions are welcomed, and I think that especially with what 2011 will hold in terms of what the government are going to try to shove down our throats next, I think that involvement of any kind can help.
3. Don't get arrested or in trouble with police - this may seem odd, but with more protests being bound to happen this year, and with me planning on attending as many of them as I can, I want to not get myself photographed, harassed, harmed or arrested while protesting peacefully (that is one thing, I will never be violent while on protest, though I will defend myself or others while there).
4. Get a proper job - by proper I mean one where I can work out my pay by the week, not through counting the number of hours I have worked. Again, any suggestions or offers will be considered (yes, I am that desperate)
5. Decide about the Masters - this one is rather reliant on number 4, but I do need to make my mind up, and while the financial pressure is the main stumbling block, decisions will need to be made, eventually.
6. Be more social - I need to get out the house more, I need to meet new people, and see more of the people I already know, some of whom I actually really enjoy spending time with. For most of 2010 my social life was crap, and not just due to my general lack of social skills. I think that, even though money will be tight this year, I need to make a greater effort to see people I like, and make a greater effort to get them to want to see me too. How to do that, I have no idea, but I have 12 months to get it sorted.
7 Read more - If anyone feels like posting me some interesting books then get in touch, but overall I think that I need to read more. I might even see if there is a library somewhere near me (under the assumption that it hasnt been closed down before I get there).
Now there are a few others, but they really aren't all that interesting to read (which, looking at that list, must make them pretty dull), but in any case, if you have any ideas or thoughts about how to achieve these things, just yell at me.
Monday, 17 May 2010
The strained thoughts of a student
In a few months, I shall be graduating from Rose Bruford, with a degree in Stage Management. I would like to get a First, but my more realistic expectation is that I, along with a lot of other students will get a 2:1. But my grades are not the point of raising this milestone in my education. In the last three years, I have learned an awful lot – and most of it has nothing to do with my degree. I am able to write this because now, I hope, not long before the end of my trip through the education system of this country, have I finally truly started to be educated. Now is the point when I am able to say that I have some self-awareness, and sense of my place and my abilities. These are the things that at 14 I wanted to have, at 16 thought I was acquiring, at 18 believed that I had mastered and at 20 realised that I still barely understood. I am still no-where near being a finished project.
It is easy to say that college teaches you things that are not learned in the classroom. This is something that I did not entirely believe until the last 18 months. During this time I have been called unhelpful, lazy, workshy, arrogant, rude and condescending. On the other hand I have been described as dedicated, confident, a natural leader by example, a perfectionist, and have also been told that I care more about the people and projects I come into contact with than any other person. Part of me is happy to have received comments on both ends of the spectrum. Part of me is proud to have been able to impress at least a few people. Mostly, however, I believe that I am lost. Over the last few years, on every project I have worked on in college I have received marks of 70 or higher for the practical work. Only one of those grades was above 85. Quite a few people thought I was mental to be displeased with myself to only have reached this mark once in my college career. What does that say about the warped way my brain works
I want to be the best. Six very simple syllables. These are the six syllables which; when I approach them inspire me more than any other in the English language. They are a source of pride, of purpose, and of immense pain. Many people enjoy being good at what they do, enjoy knowing that they have done a job well. I wish that this were the case with me. I have discovered that, over the last few years I have been setting my targets higher. My main regret is that I did not do this many years ago. When I was younger, in a conversation with one of my teachers I managed to produce from the more than sizable part of my brain that controls ego this brilliant comment: “I know I can do it, you know I can do it. Why do I need to show you I can do it.” Honestly, this is one of the moments when I wish I had the ability to go back and give the younger version of me a thorough slap on the head. While it may sound clever, precocious, self important and certainly arrogant, that is the way that I thought. It is the way that I thought all the way until I received my A Level results in the summer of 2007. While they were the results that I needed in order to get into college, they were not the results that I was capable of producing, and what made it worse was that every single person who knew what results I got could tell me exactly that – and reneging on ones own potential is one of the worst things that someone can do for themselves, especially when others have given up so much to provide great opportunities. I wish that I could take some sense of self worth and pride back to 2007 and make the most of the chance that I had to do something impressive.
My drive to make myself better that everyone else is not fuelled by arrogance. It certainly contains an unhealthy dose of narcissism, but I believe that in reality it stems from the fact that I want to be a whole lot better than the arrogant youth who left Oakham in 2007. I do not have the knowledge of others, the personality of others, and I certainly do not have the talent of others. I have chosen for myself a path, which others are travelling down, and many of them are infinitely more suited to face the twist and turns of this road. I am not striving to be better than everyone else just to show that I can be. I am striving to be better than everyone else because I know that I am not, and at least if I fail to produce greater work than others, at least my attempts will have given me parity. The irony is that this parity is seen by many others as acceptable, and yet when I strive to be better than equal, it is my ambition that is questioned, not their acquiescence. This is a real problem, one that must be properly explored, but will take more work, and greater minds, than this.
Now for the part that really terrifies me. Where am I going now? Part of me wishes that I would be able to apply my new way of thinking to a more academic degree. I wish it was possible for me to apply to study English, History or politics – to do the degree that I was expected to be taking before placing myself in a more dramatic arc of life. This desire to study other subjects is not a rejection of the arts world, and not a scared student running from the responsibilities of adult life. On the contrary, I want to be able to expand my knowledge base because I want to be someone to take on the challenges facing the Arts world. I love being a stage manager, I am passionate about what I do, but I also wish to take a more active role in the administration of the arts, of theatre, live performance and events, so that others can feel the same enjoyment, the same thrill, the same joy that I do every time I step into a theatre.
Thank you for reading.
It is easy to say that college teaches you things that are not learned in the classroom. This is something that I did not entirely believe until the last 18 months. During this time I have been called unhelpful, lazy, workshy, arrogant, rude and condescending. On the other hand I have been described as dedicated, confident, a natural leader by example, a perfectionist, and have also been told that I care more about the people and projects I come into contact with than any other person. Part of me is happy to have received comments on both ends of the spectrum. Part of me is proud to have been able to impress at least a few people. Mostly, however, I believe that I am lost. Over the last few years, on every project I have worked on in college I have received marks of 70 or higher for the practical work. Only one of those grades was above 85. Quite a few people thought I was mental to be displeased with myself to only have reached this mark once in my college career. What does that say about the warped way my brain works
I want to be the best. Six very simple syllables. These are the six syllables which; when I approach them inspire me more than any other in the English language. They are a source of pride, of purpose, and of immense pain. Many people enjoy being good at what they do, enjoy knowing that they have done a job well. I wish that this were the case with me. I have discovered that, over the last few years I have been setting my targets higher. My main regret is that I did not do this many years ago. When I was younger, in a conversation with one of my teachers I managed to produce from the more than sizable part of my brain that controls ego this brilliant comment: “I know I can do it, you know I can do it. Why do I need to show you I can do it.” Honestly, this is one of the moments when I wish I had the ability to go back and give the younger version of me a thorough slap on the head. While it may sound clever, precocious, self important and certainly arrogant, that is the way that I thought. It is the way that I thought all the way until I received my A Level results in the summer of 2007. While they were the results that I needed in order to get into college, they were not the results that I was capable of producing, and what made it worse was that every single person who knew what results I got could tell me exactly that – and reneging on ones own potential is one of the worst things that someone can do for themselves, especially when others have given up so much to provide great opportunities. I wish that I could take some sense of self worth and pride back to 2007 and make the most of the chance that I had to do something impressive.
My drive to make myself better that everyone else is not fuelled by arrogance. It certainly contains an unhealthy dose of narcissism, but I believe that in reality it stems from the fact that I want to be a whole lot better than the arrogant youth who left Oakham in 2007. I do not have the knowledge of others, the personality of others, and I certainly do not have the talent of others. I have chosen for myself a path, which others are travelling down, and many of them are infinitely more suited to face the twist and turns of this road. I am not striving to be better than everyone else just to show that I can be. I am striving to be better than everyone else because I know that I am not, and at least if I fail to produce greater work than others, at least my attempts will have given me parity. The irony is that this parity is seen by many others as acceptable, and yet when I strive to be better than equal, it is my ambition that is questioned, not their acquiescence. This is a real problem, one that must be properly explored, but will take more work, and greater minds, than this.
Now for the part that really terrifies me. Where am I going now? Part of me wishes that I would be able to apply my new way of thinking to a more academic degree. I wish it was possible for me to apply to study English, History or politics – to do the degree that I was expected to be taking before placing myself in a more dramatic arc of life. This desire to study other subjects is not a rejection of the arts world, and not a scared student running from the responsibilities of adult life. On the contrary, I want to be able to expand my knowledge base because I want to be someone to take on the challenges facing the Arts world. I love being a stage manager, I am passionate about what I do, but I also wish to take a more active role in the administration of the arts, of theatre, live performance and events, so that others can feel the same enjoyment, the same thrill, the same joy that I do every time I step into a theatre.
Thank you for reading.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)